miss my boo boo

he went back to his place
it's only a day past by where he is not right beside me
i've already missed him
how am i going to get over this feeling
only god knows it
hope thathe'll be back soon
miss u
-Azzat-

what's actually wrong with him?

i can't understand what the heck is wrong with this guy
he told me that he had a problem back then
when i asked him what's wrong
he just kept quiet and say goodbye
later then, he blame me for not being concern and caring enough towards him
why are guys act like this?
he put the blame on me
by not being there with him to support him
i just coudn't understand why

what's wrong with her?

i don't know what i feel right now
everything seems not right
i feel as if i wanna cry
but i don't know why
something is missing inside of me
everything that i did will end up wrong
people see a girl that is always happy and does not seem to have any problem in her life
that is what they see
but inside of the girl
no one really knows
what's wrong with her
what does she wants
why isn't she happy
that a question that no one will ever know

it's been a while since i last posted any of my stories

kind of bz

in a dilemma right now on deciding what's the best for me

should i get myself involved into another responsibilities?

or should i not?

my friends & family advised me not to

maybe they are right

however, i'm still thinking of it

what's still the best for me

bye for now

flu............

not feeling very well

having pretty bad damn flu here

wish that my hubby is right here with me now

just by my side

to take care of me

~end~

another arguement

yesterday
i had another fight with my dad
i just can't figure out why my own father keep picking out on me
i'm his own daughter
could he just stop it
and be nice to me
all i'm asking is for some love from a father to his daughter
is that so hard for him to understand?
well then, i've left nothing much to say then if he still acting out that way

~end~

the result has come out!!

i was so anxious and damn nervous thinking of the result that i might get for my first semester.
i could not wait for the day to come.
the result was supposed to come out on the 9th of June 2008.
however, one of my closest friend and also my beloved sis, Listiari, gave me a call and asked me whether i have checked the results.
i was very suprised when i heard the news!
i asked her what did she get and she told me she received a Dean's List.
i rushed back to my house and quickly online to check mine.

without any expectation, my results was totally beyond my expectation!
i also managed to received a Dean's List!
i screamed out with joy
and i knew that both of my parents are proud of me
although this only my first semester, but i am sure that i still can score well in this coming semester

~end~

terrible.....

on the 3rd of June, a drastic tragedy happened to me.
it is going to be one memorable incident in my life.
while i was working, a guy approached me and he asked my opinion on Nokia 6500 slide phone.
which one would i prefer? the black one or the silver?
then, he said that he wanted to buy the black one.
later, he said that he wanted to register a broadband line and plus modem.
before i went to take the form, he requsted to have a look at Nokia N82 and N95 (b) phone.
i took it out a i went away just for about 10 secs.
and when i'm back, he's still there and i asked him to fill up the form.
but he told me that he had to look for his daughter to take her ID card.
few minutes later, i realizad that both of the phone had gone missing
i asked my colleague whether they have any idea where it is
i thought i had misplaced it, but finally i remember what actually happened
i went to search for that old man but he's nowhere to be seen
guess that i'd been cheated.
it cost about RM4298
then, i went to the police station to lodge a police report

my mom suspected that maybe i was sort of hypnotized by that person because i was like dreaming when it happened

hope that i could be able to sort this matter

god, please protect me and give me blessings to get through this.

~end~

wish he was still here right beside me

this is my ginger breadman

i miss him so much

i wish that he did not have to go back to his place in KL.

wish that he would spent most of his time right here with me

he was there with me whenever i needed him

dedicated to............................AZZAT

~end~

a sad moment in my life

today is my last day for me to spent my time with azzat. azzat spent a few nights at my house.
i'd enjoy all the moments with him.
i wish that he don't have to go back to his place.
my mom told me that he look sad when he had to leave my house and say goodbye to my family
i wanted to kiss him but i can't
he hugged me
i wish that the world would just stop at that moment
hope that he would come again to my place this coming weekend

i love you so much............

AZZAT

~end~

bla bla bla

I'm so ancious right now because someone is coming from KL to my place just to visit me
I don't know whether I am happy or not
At the same time, I was kind of afraid if he knew what i've been doing while i was far away from his side
hmm
just hope for the best then
hope that everything would be just fine

~end~

interesting experience

Today is the day that are quite exhausting for me.
I had to serve lots of customer the day.
I can see different personalities for all sorts of people.
Some of them are very talkative, friendly, and funny...
But there are also people who are so damn fucking rude!
If I'm not a worker, i would definitely talked back to them.
As if they are so damn fucking good!
and some of them even talk to me in a very unappropriate manner

But what else can I say?
I just could keep my mouth shut and cursed them in my heart!
hoho.

This was a very interesting experience for me.
That's all.

~end~

headache

it's already been two days i'm having a damn headache
therefore, i've got nothing much to write about
last night, azzat called me and he told me that he would be coming to my place on this coming friday
i was very suprised and happy at the moment!
can't wait for the day to come

~end~

stop hurting me!

i couldn't stand it anymore!
i had enough! why is all these bad things keep on coming to me??
i respect him so much but he keep on treating me as if i am a stranger towards him.
am i such a horrible person??
sometimes i just feel like i want to put an end to this.
maybe if i did not exist in this world, the world would be so much better.

~end~

another disappointment

On the 25th of May, Sunday, I was disappointed by another person. My principle in life is that if you promised someone, you must fulfill it. It turns out that the guy did not turn out to be that way. However, I was able to accept his excuse on why he did not manage to keep his promise to me.

Yesterday, I had my lunch time with my friend, Ah Yern. She's a nice girl, but on the other hand, she always do some stupid stuffs. While I was in the lift with her, she suddenly hit the door lift. I was pretty shocked and kind of upset with her action. It just that I'm afraid that one day, if she couldd't control herself, it could lead to suicide.

I finished my work at almost 11 at night. kind of exhausted and sleepy right now. So I guess, this is the end of my story for the day. Night.

not a very lucky day for me

today, lots of unwanted stuff happened to me. i had a fight with Azzat in the afternoon. i told him that last night to of my friends put up a night at my house. they sleep in my room together with me. nothing happened between us. when i told Azzat about it, he asked me a question. did any of the boys did anythg to me. i replied no. but he said 'Are you sure?'

I was so pissed off at that moment when i heard that. What?? Do you think that i am the type of girl who would just simply sleep with other guy? of course not. i felt as my heart was torn apart into pieces. i was disappointed with him. it makes me to start thinking again whether is our relationship is going somewhere or not.

hope that he realised about his mistake.......

dedicated to azzat.............................................

complicated problems

A friend of mine told me that she's in problem. I told her that I'm not sure whether I would be able to help her out. Here's the story of it.

She has a boyfriend right now. However, at the same time she keeps on contacting another guy. She told me that she love her current boyfriend so much but at the same time she just love to be friends with other guys. This other guy *Fendi, actually told her that he has started to fall in love with her. She was kind of suprised but at the same time, she likes it.

And now, she had befriended with *Fendi's best friend, *Shawn. At first, she just contacted him to asked him about *Fendi. But now, it turned out that this other guy started to get in touch with her more frequently than *Fendi. Recently, she gave him a call and *Shawn actually expressed out his feeling towards her. He told her that he had fallen for her and he's willing to wait for her if things did not work out between her and *Fendi.

When I heard her probleems, I don't know how to help her. But I knew deep inside of heart that the guy that she really love is her boyfriend right now, that is *Adam.

miss him so much....

it's almost a week since i and him apart
he's in shah alam right now while i'm in Perak.
i wish that he was here with me.
i remember that on the last day we were together, he almost cry because he didn't want me to leave him. but what can i do? i have to. i have to go back to my hometown. to my family.
every night he will give me a call
asking about my condition, did anything happened to me when he's not by my side
i was so touched when i hear what he said
at that moment, i realize that how much he loves me
i could not imagine what would happened to me if he suddenly disappear from my life.

i miss you

i miss you so much

~end~

few background stories about myself

I am just a normal and like any other girls here. In the year of 2008, I would turn to 19 years old this year. For the first time in my life, I had to stay apart from my family because I need to continue my studies in UiTM Malacca

This was my first semester here. during this whole semester, lots if things had happened to me. Positive and not forgetting negative stuffs. At first, I had no one to hold on to. I was scared back then. I wanted to quit, however, my friends stopped me.

During the induction session for all of the Part 1 students, i met someone. He was one of the PM there. He's under the 'Biro Disiplin'. He said he towards me. At that moment, I already had a crush for him. But, I was uncertain then. I'm afraid that he has a girlfriend.

Lucky for me, he was available at that moment. He asked me for my cell phone number. Without any second thoughts, I immediately gave him my no. This is just the opportunities that I must not let it go. Who know that one day, we could be together once we knew each other.

That's all for right now. Kind of sleepy and tired right now.
Bye.